What happened has happened. There’s no use to repress of try forgetting the bad memories, the bad feelings and the pain will surface. By accepting the fact you’ve been abused, is a start to a better and full life.
The adult offender always bears the full responsibility for what he/she did. As children we easily explain bad things that happened as our own mistakes. As an adult we can place the fault where it belongs, with the offender and free ourselves. This is a difficult process, but necessary.
When you’ve places the fault, it’s easier to get rid of the shame. There’s no reason to feel ashamed, we’ve been ashamed long enough, casting the shame away unfortunately takes time and a lot of effort. Many prevail against it through training, they persuade themselves: I have no reason to be ashamed.
Talk with another person or more about what you’ve been subjected to. Very few are going out ahead by continuing to remain silent and bear the pain alone. Find someone you really trust and can help you. A lot of us found help at volunteer help centers, some found help within their families and friends. Establish a good relationship with your family doctor, change if you must, your doctor is important to get the right treatment and to get benefits/pension. Allow yourself to anger, pain, aggression, frustration and other difficult emotions You have good reason to have strong and painful feelings. Give yourself permission to have and display them, and then examine the reason which makes you feel like this, so will these emotion grow weaker.
The one that knows yourself the best is you. You know what is needed when a problem must be solved. We can say with our experience is that it takes time; there’s no reason to be hasty. Some go to an advisor once a week, some work with the issue intensely in a period of time and take long brakes, some benefits from residential care. Take command over your actions.
Bad experiences can’t be erased overnight. When you’ve broken the silence and found a good helper, maybe started a form of treatment, you might face adversity and realize there’s still a long way to go. It is then important to keep hope and keep going forward. Life is going to get better. We know!
Your family doctor is a good place to start a conversation and be referred to a psychologist, if necessary. It is important that you tell your doctor about what you’re struggling with.
Report assaults to the police. They will decide whether the case should be investigated or if it is obsolete. If you’re a victim to rape, report to the police and they will help you to an abuse center. You can also tip the police by phone if you’re concerned about abuse.
DPS offers treatment by psychologists and therapists, depending on
your need. You will need a doctors referral to get help from the public