What caused me to seek help was that I finally understood, despite figuring it out early on, that I had a problem which required treatmen. I had in away accepted what happened has happened, it’s here to stay through my life, but I had to find a way to live WITH it.

I had a breakdown when my grandfather died. It was like a bubble that burst, everything came flowing into my mind. It was the first time I had told anyone. Fortunately I had sensible people around me. A friend made me realize this wasn’t a matter to be taken lightly, things had to be sorted out. According to her, I started to drink a lot while telling my story, I was only interrupted by my friends vomit breaks. It wasn’t easy for her to take my story. After several hours of that, I collapsed. After that I got major depressions. I could have my doors locked for several days in a row.

I’ve probably know about all the abuse when I was growin up, but it was at age 37, when I became a father to a lovely boy, that the thoughts began to bother me. Becoming a father triggered my memories and after my dear mother finally got some peace from many years of battling sickness and psychological hell, it was time to take a hold on my own problems I knew were present, but held them hidden from the world.