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Q: Hi! I’ve written to you before, because I was subjected to sexual abuse from when I was 13-16 + when I was 19 years old, I was unfortunately victim of other boys/men then… I feel some kind of shame. Not interested in sex etc. Is it normal? Boy 23.5

A: Hi boy 23.5 and thank you for the question.
Most victims of sexual abuse are struggling with the feeling of shame and guilt even though the guilt is ALWAYS supposed to be with the abuser(s). Take myself as an example now, experiencing savage sexual abuse during my childhood, performed by multiple assailants. The shame and guilt plagued me for years, until I sought help at a support center here where I live in the south, when I was 37 years old. I knew deep inside that the abusers were at fault, but the shame grew with my age and became stronger as the years passed. This caused me to act in many ways with limits in the teen years and well into the adult life. This is called relational damage, which I advise you to to take a hold of as fast as you can. Remember, you have NO GUILT in what happened and you should seek help to process what has happened for your own sake. I hope you have access to a support center where you live, make an appointment and get started. I promise that you’ll have it much better in the future is you act now.
Wishing you all the best and lots of luck!
Regards,
Jarle Holseter