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Q: Hi. I know a 40 year old man and I think he’s been molested by his father. Not necessarily sexual, but related to sex one way or another, which now have turned into a form of self-loathing and difficulties maintaining normal interpersonal relationships. His economy is not good, which options of help can he get? He is of course completely paralyzed being able to talk about himself, but is great at talking with other people and their problems. Since we don’t know if he’s been molested or not, this might not be the correct site to ask for help, so any suggestions are welcomed with open arms.

A: Hi. As you write, it is not always easy to talk about one’s own challenges, but this helps. I see myself in some of what you’ve written, but the issues could be related so other things than sex which makes him who he is. If you’re in good terms with him, you could ask him directly if he’s experienced any form of abuse. Then you could for example ask if it’s been violence, sexual or other situations. It’s guaranteed that you’ll get an answer, but I know by myself that a questing like that will starts a process of thoughts which might lead him to bring up the subject again.
Free low-threshold help offers are available. If it’s related to sexual abuse, then you could find one of these support centers by looking at the links below.

Hjem

http://www.ssmm.no
I hope this is of help.
Good luck.
Regards,
Odd Sverre