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Q: I’m a 60 year old man. My father molested me when I was a little boy. He died several years ago. My younger sisters refuse to believe that our father molested me and don’t want to have anything to do with me. What can I do to establish a good relationship with them without renouncing the damned things father did to me?

A: Hi and thank you for your question.

I have some of the similar experiences mentioned in your question and this is not easy to solve. Your family should stand by your experiences and support you, but when that isn’t happening I would, as I have done, focus on myself. Work out the pain by contacting the help which is available out there.

You’re telling us your younger sisters doesn’t want to have anything to do with you because you told them what happened in your childhood. This is something you have to accept, and hope that one day you’ll be able to talk about it. It’s crushing and hurtful when family doesn’t support you, I understand that very well, but NOW they KNOW your story and many people require some time to put up with what happened and especially when it’s their own father is the molester.  Let the time pass and maybe don’t bring it up with your sisters again after a while, so it’ll be a posibillity that they’ll come to you one day.

In the meanwhile I recommend you to work out your problems. A lot of families have experienced disunity because of abuse and it’s difficult for all it may concern.

I wish you luck.

Regards

Jarle